This Floating Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the Television Disappointments of the Year.
As we reflect on the television landscape of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final series began, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably found joy dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so poor they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
MobLand
Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.
In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are clearly interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Instead, the experience was like reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.
Too Much
How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.
Prime Target
We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for explicit exploits as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.